i arrived safely in barrington although carying my backpack my handbag and my heavy rolly luggage thingy was quite a task. especially since in the damn london tubes they have escalators mostly but then there always is a bit where you have to walk up stairs! so i just barely managed to get my heavy rolly bag up the stairs.... in the train there luckily was a nice man who helped me put it away and all that.. yup yup yup.... other than that the train ride wasn't very exciting,,,, just the usual...
here in barrington i am having a GREAT time. i will go to the pub monday morning to enquire about a part-time job and am keeping my fingers crossed. i am proud to say that i have been practicing my clarinet and piano everyday since i've been here and doing some research online about hotels in berlin. most of the good hotels or interesting hotels don't seem to take students for an study purpose sorta thing. but i shall write e-mails tomorrow and ask. asking is worth a try, right?
today i felt like a real farm girl! haha... was started fixing a fence and drilling holes and taking screw drivers and other weird metal thingies and cutting wood! *GRIN* YEAH!!! soooo much FUN! i really enjoyed working outside on that. i think it is practical stuff worth knowing for general usage stuff in the future....
chatted to kate (girl i met at daimler chrysler in taiwan) and gave her a short german lesson. she has an interview in berlin may 9th and will be staying there for 3 days. hopefully all will go well and they will take her! that would be really really great. so it was fun chatting to her as usual.
have to practice some chinese tomorrow and hopefully will go riding tomorrow as well! =D
so bliblablu and all that jazz ;)

so i have been packing all my stuff in cambridge pretty much all day. and actually in a weird way have enjoyed it. i like packing stuff and cleaning up my room and making it look all tidy! *GRIN* i know i'm strange... i definitely definitely do but that's just who i am so get used to it! hehe.. am really looking forward to going to barrington on monday. it's just going to be sooo great and just what i need. i'll be able to do some more riding and have long dicussions in the evening with tony til 3 am and hopefully be able to work to earn some money. i'll be motivated to practice piano and clarinet and learn my chinese! and READ!!! i'll have time to READ!!! zip-a-dee-doo-dah! am really happy and bouncy now. i didn't even cry when i left erik yesterday! that's the first time! i just told myself not to be silly and that i'll see him in like 2 months or so again and that i'll have fun in barrington so no need to be sad. and i'll be seeing sally (the dog) AGAIN! YEAH! i am really proud of myself. i don't have much to be proud of but i am proud that i was able to not be sad and negative but just be really positive yesterday.
so tomorrow i just have to still pack shampoo and soap and that sorta stuff and then vaccum clean this place and dust my room and then it will all be done and i can relax! woohoo!

So, today i go back to cambridge. but at least i know it's only for the weekend and i'll all be doing is pack all my stuff and then leave on monday to barrington. i will only take my clothes and clarinet along to barrington and the rest of the stuff i'll leave in my room because my dad will come pick it up mid june with the car. and since i payed for the room until end of june that shouldn't be a problem. i am sorta sad that i have to leave erik again but i guess that's life and actually i should be used to it by now. however, i just am not. it's just as hard as always. that song "everytime we say goodbye, i die a little" keeps popping into my head. i love that song and it is so true when it comes to leaving good friends, family or my boyfriend. so so true. i can feel how inside i die a little. it's terrible but then again that's just who i am. i happen to be a sensitive person and being so emotional also has it's good sides because then when i am happy i am really really happy and bouncy and the most little things can make me happy. so i just have to live with the shitty part...

have written an e-mail to a friend of my parents who is a hotel manager and asked him what the best way is to get into the hotel business. if an "ausbildungsplatz" is better or if i should study "betriebswirtschaft" or or or... so i hope he replies soon. am going to do some research online now about hotels in germany that take students.

am still not sure if i should stay in berln and study there or not. the thing is that kate, this good friend of mine in taipei has the opportunity to work in berlin for 3 years starting this october and it just would be wonderful if we could live together. i just love her so much and she's the only girl i could live with and not kill after two weeks. i know she's like 10 years older, but since when does age matter? she just is so much fun and i could help her get around in berlin and she would help me by telling me to get off my ass and not just laze around all day. it just would be perfect. but then i ask myself if i should make my choice based on the fact if she'll be in berlin or not. because my goal should be to find the best hotel that takes me. but i just am yearning for a friend to live with. so what should i do? any ideas? i know that i should make this decisicion but i'd like to know what other people think.

i shall enjoy my last hours here in karlsruhe and then get ready to go to the airport.


adios karlsruhe!

Guess what? i think i actually have finally figured out what i want to study and my subject heading thingy most probably gave it away as well and makes all of this less exciting but anyway... here it is... *drumroll* .... *fanfare* ... HOTEL!! i want to get into the hotel business and study hotel management or find a hotel that will take me for an "ausbildungsplatz" sorta thing. i really really think that this is it. and i definitely want to start after summer. that's for sure. i'm sick of just sitting around and having nothing to do. i want to be busy and stressed again. i want to have lots and lots to do and be distracted in case times are rough and not sit in my room and feel sorry for myself. i don't want to have time to think but just want to do stuff all day and be so tired in the evening that i just go to sleep and wake up again early in the morning. i am soooo excited now! i hope it all works out!
now i just have to inform myself about hotels in germany that might take me or that have some sort of thing where i study and then work in the hotel as well or whatever it is..... i just have to inform myself online and ask friends and stuff like that. this is the most difficult part probably because i hate reading stuff and looking for stuff .. i am just really impatient and want to know everything right away and not have to read. i'd rather have like a robot or person or something that can tell me what i want to know.... that would be really really handy. reading takes AGES!!!! but oh well... i have to do this.

other than that there's nothing much new really. was in berlin over easter and my cousins came to visit with aunt and uncle which was nice and fun. my oldes cousin who is 15 brought her boyfriend so that was interesting. but i already had chatted to him for like a year so i knew him and he is really nice. very very shy though. and he keeps on cleaning up everything! he's like this organizing FREAK! lol... buti guess that's handy for my cousin. she has someone to fold her clothes for her and clean for her. my gosh.. she's lucky! anyway now i'm in karlsruhe with erik and enjoying this lovely lovely warm weather here! IN APRIL!!! it's like 27 degrees!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS??? but oh well.... i shall not complain..... I LIKE IT!

sMiLe!

I FELL OFF THE HORSE!!!

mission accomplished! woohoo!

I was flying for a few seconds of my life!

AMAZING!

ZIP-A-DEE-DOO-DAH!

so i'm in Barrington again this weekend which is why i haven't written anything and only replying to ppl's posts and stuff...

obviously went riding and if you want to check out pictures go to facebook and my e-mail address is as652@student.anglia.ac.uk. i'm in the Anglia Ruskin network and full name is: Anna-Marie Schürmann or Schuermann... can't remember which way i spelt it...

anyway so we went riding yesterday as well. went as fast as a canter and my horse was really really excited yesterday so she accelerated really quickly and then suddenly something spooked her and she moved to the side so abruptly that I flew off the horse!

first time to fall off the horse! mission accomplished. ;)

ok... sure. nobody comment on my last journal post thingy! fine! be that way! tisk tisk tisk... =P hehe...jst kidding...

not like it was that interesting anyway. am still confused as usuall and have no clue what to study or do. i'm thinking it definitely has to do something where i work a lot with people and i work in a team and there sorta is a family sorta atmosphere if you  know what i mean. how about a cook/baker sorta thing? what do you think? i could bake cakes for weddigns, anniversaries, birthdays and so forth and cook lots of yummy food for all kinds of social events... sounds kinda fun but don't know how fun it is in real life sorta thing... maybe i'm just romanticizing that. another option is doing somehting with kids. kindergarten teacher sorta thing... but i can't really imagine myself as a teacher. plus with my bad language and grammar and bli bla blu i probably wouldn't be a good influence for the children.... what else is there? i need a list of different jobs. i just don't know what's out there and that is the main problem... ARGH!!!! soooo frustrating! i'm not getting anywhere! aaaaahhhh! am slowly going out of my mind! slowly? who am i kidding? VERY VERY FAST!!!! hmmmm...how about coaching/counselling sorta thing? not a psychologist or psychiatrist.... i wouldn't do well in that but just giving people self-esteem and making them optimistic... that sorta thing.... hmmm.... think think think!

have decided to study in south germany probably. coz lots of friends are down there. ideally tübingen coz teddy will be there this fall and i'd love to move in together with him!! it would be soo much fun. but i obviously can't make it depend on that.... just would be nice that all....

what else..... what else to say... hmmm..... probably have already said enough. oh yeah.... should i even take exams at the end of the year? is there a point to taking them and adding additional stress to the stress i already have of trying to decide what i want? i mean i see th reasons to do them. coz i should finish what i started... at least this year and just sorta get it through and then be proud of myself that i really finisehd the ENTIRE year... but then again what's the point if i'm not doing anything with music technology anyway? HELP!!! too many decisions to make and i really have  no clue what to decide!!!

am drinking licorice tea... jst in case anyone cared.... la di da di dum... shall go to bed soon. will watch something... two and a half men are really really funny. hehe. am going to barrington again tomorrow! YEAH!!! and next week thursday Erik is coming to visit! zip-a-dee-doo-dah!!!

toilet and kitchen still are dirty as hell and suck..... am ok.... i mean not really.... but am ok....

ciao

hello there,

soi did not learn any russian today as formerly planned, however, i did do work. i didn't just laze around in my room as usual. after a long discussion with tony (barrington person) yesterday, we both have decided that actually in our world today it probably is better to always have some kinda degree in your pocket. even if it's not really what you want to study and you're not sure. might as well get the degree over with now. later on it isn't really important what the degree was in....
so today i've been searching all day for universities in germany and what they offer and what might interest me that i could study. here's my list (some of it's in german coz i suck at translating =P)

Cognitive Science
Heilpädagogik und Sozialpädagogik
Speechtherapist (Logopädie)
Psychology
Landscape Archtitecture
Gebärdensprache (the sign language that deaf people use)
Berufspädagogik (job psychology sorta kinda but not really?)
International Management????? really not sure if that's me or not...
Culture Managment ???? also am not very sure about this. sounds sorta interesting...

Now I have to decide which one I actually want to choose. and then decide the city.
Here's the list of Cities:

Osnabrück
Freiburg in Switzerland
Berlin
Dortmund
Hamburg
Tübingen
Stuttgart
Karlsruhe

so lots and lots and lots of research. started this morning and only stopped just now. although i did have a break to watch two and a half men! *GRIN* hihi. love that series and love charlie sheen!

will wake up at 7am tomorrow morning to do russian homework stuff. absolutley don't feel like it which is weird since i was really excited about learning a new language in the beginning. i just hate studying on my own i think. i just like someone to be there. they don't have to study the same thing but just for them to be there and study as well helps soooo much. that's why i like studying in cafes. starbucks in hackesche höfe is THE BEST! i love dstudying there.

*hugs*

sMiLe!!

well that whole self-discipline thing didn't work out at all... coz friday i got a really really bad unbearable headache and therefore couldn't do any of all those things i planned but ended up at home lying on the sofa and massaging my eyes and head to get rid of it... then over the weekend i did other stuff and just didn't find time at home on my own where i could have practiced voice... although i could have practiced piano nevertheless... but yeah...it was weekEND!!!everybody always relaxes and has fun and all that... i know i know... excuses, excuses, excuses... well i did do my voice practice stuff today! however i haven't practiced my piano YET... still time to do so and i shall. at least for 15 min. otherwise i shall just wallow infront of the tv and do my beads. so another day went by from my boring life...

so today i shall start to self-discipline myself... i doubt it will work but i shall try. i really want to do practice piano and voice everyday at least for 15 min. i should be able to do that somehow... since my father left for sardinien this morning and only will come back on sunday i will have to do the shopping today. i have to iron some clothes and then i also still want to finish my beaded thing and maybe continue painting a bit... shall see if i get all of that done... also want to go out to the grunewald and take pictures of dogs and trees and stuff... yep di dup... so that's the plan for today. let's see how it goes and how much of what i planned to do i actually WILL do...

so me is back from taipei. was there for half a year although i actually was planning to stay there for a year. but i decided to come back earlier because i thought and still think that it would be better for me. taiwan was fun awesome scary difficult painful lovely all at once. learned a lot about myself and analyzed myself a lot. also got really confused though. so it's good to be back here and get my head straight again. definitely noticed that berlin is home and taiwan my roots. just happy to be back in berlin again together with erik family and friends. however i also miss the friends i found in taiwan. but oh well... just too much to say and too long a story that i don't feel like elaborating now.
now i need to look forward. i applied to tonstudio babelsberg for an internship. and i hopefully can start working next week and gain some experience before i go to england to study music technology. i won't be earning money in the internship but maybe i can work at a bakery on the weekends oder so... shall see...
definitely need some work to do now rather than just sitting at home ... i mean i do stuff at home as well but i need some kind of routine again... wake up early and all that...
well not much more to say right now since nothing much is going on...
cheers to everybody!

sMiLe! :-D

yo yo yo ... me is back from england! england was quite fun but very hectic. most of the time i was sitting in the bus or in the train on the way to somewhere ... quite boring and i can't read in buses coz i get headaches so that definitely sucked. usually listened to music or tried to sleep ... or ate .... so me is probably going to go to APU in Cambridge coz Cambridge is a cool city and the university is near city centre and also near coach station to take me to london stansted airport to come back to berlin and the teacher was cool. and they have a theatre and lots of music activities such as choir, orchestra and so forth AND they have a grand piano i can practice on!!!! yippee!!! i'm still gonna look at surrey on june 29th and then will decide from there on ....

yesterday my dad arranged for me to attend a hauptversammlung of the jack white production. all the ppl who have aktien with their production company thingy were there and the pplz on podium said how well they did this past year and afterwards other pplz could ask questions. now usually it takes around 1-2hours and is interesiting but yesterday they had to talk about their boring finances and it took 4 HOURS!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! the colleague of my father who picked me up was soooo bored himself and inbetween we went out to have food. and then the actual reason why i went was to talk to this one guy who produces and did sound engineering and all that and because it took so long he didn't have much time to talk to me coz he had to catch a plane to münchen. so i talked to him for a min or 2 .... *grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr* *grumble* ... *hmph* blä blä blä .....

jst my luck ....

had barbershop concert at some altes frauen kloster oder so and they loved us but we as a choir were so unmotivated and half of the girls chorus didn't know the one song we were singing .... so we sang watermelon watermelon watermelon watermelon or pineapple cantelope pineapple cantelope pineapple cantelope. LOL!!! that was FUN!!! hihihihihihihihihihihihi! *GRIN*

naja .. thatz that .. now me has to go to orchestra practice coz i'm playing for graduation....

adios,

PPT

weelo pplz...

hvn't written for ages again and i'm very very sorry ... well am curently in england looking at universities. i've been to one university so far in worthing, near brighton and by the sea.the city is ok but not too big and not really interesting. the bed and breakfast place i stayed at was GREAT.so in case anyone is staying at worthing sometime they should ask me for a hostel. i do like the seashore. itz really relaxing and i like taking walks by the sea....but don't think i'll be going to that uni....

am all on my own and doing quite good. was able to catch every train and bus that i had to use. YEAH!!!

well .... nothing much to say otherwise ...

adios,

little bit

la la la ...

voice lessons was loads of fun again as always ... learned some new cool rhythm thingy and steps and clapping hands thingy with voice which takes good coordination but is loads of fun when u can actually do it. WEeeeeeeeeeeee!

i actually came home during daylight!!!! WOW!!! amazing .... i don't how long it has been since i last came home at 2:30 ...

it turns out although stahmann said that my math grade isn't as good on the repoert card as it used to be itz not that bad either. itz one point less so a 3+ instead of 2-... so i'll jst hve to really work hard during the 4th semester to boost everything up again. hope it will work out since everybody keep saying how difficult the 4th semester is and how much work one has to do like research paper and so forth ... but we shall see .... i'm first working towards getting a good ABI and then we can see what me shall do afterwards....

still pretty chillled. hve studied a lot these past two days! zip-a-dee-doo-dah! finally ... i mean it did take a while ...

so i shall go on studying now!

adios

*hugs* to everyone who needs it!

bli bla blu and zim zum dee bluk ...

tja ja ... studied quite a bit of math today. still hvn't finished english book but don't hve to read that much any more. only about 30 pages or so i believe so i should be able to finsh it today or tomorrow. yep yep yep ...

i still hve to study a whole lot til ABI. this weekend again as well and during the week of course. like now probably ... aber na ja ... man macht das später ...

last weekend was quite productive and fun as well. barbershop saturday morning and then starbucks with margit where i read a lot of english and then stage crew thingy in school. fun fun fun ... sunday morning church and then to cassy and studying math and hvin food and talking bout random stuff. la di da di dum ...

singing is sooo much fun by the way. hihihihihi. *grin* hihihhi! yep yep yep ... hve piano lessons again this evening and i totally don't feel like piano lessons at all. jst not in the mood ... really weird ... there are moments or weeks where i can't stop playing the piano and then there are weeks where i jst don't feel like it. however singing is always fun.

well i wish everyone a relaxing and chilled and fun week!

adios

bli bla blu and zim zum dee bluk ...

thnx loadz ppl for all your comments. i don't feel stupid anymore and as if i'm the only one that thinks one can make oneself feel better and be more postive and all ...

my uncle from the phils and his wife came on thursday! yippee! they r leaving again tonight but it was nice having them here. my mom had a party on friday which was quite fun. nice ppl and cassy and erik were there to entertain me as well or me to entertain them .. ... leelee dropped by randomly and was in desperate need of speaking to REAL ppl and doing something ... so that was fun and random! i love it when ppl randomly drop by! itz jst the best ... because itz so unexpected and all! weee wee wee!

talking bout friday ... english klausur ... i kinda was done end of 4th and jst was counting my words through 5th. 1031 words ... i think thatz one of the most that i've written ... but am not quite sure ...

anyways me gotta go ... r driving to some countryside and taking a walk ...

more later!

adios

Weelo pplz!

anyway.... bli bla blu and zim zum dee bluk! having said that ... how is everybody doing?

I think in comparison to everyone else around me I'm doing really good. so many ppl are overworked, have no "bock" and jst don't feel like doing anything or don't see the point of working for school or school itself and getting a ABI and yada yada yada ... itz sooo depressing and disturbing and sometimes annoying as well ... i know itz not their fault that they feel so "blah" but it gets me all down as well and itz really difficult sometimes to stay in a good mood then or i feel guilty coz i'm in a good mood and all hyper and the others are so down and wish they could be like me .... and i don't know how to help them or make them feel better. i also can't find the motivation for them. i jst happen to have found it and i don't think itz that hard to find. eariler i jst had a conversation about not getting stuff done and all and being in this "kein bock" mood and the person reminded me that itz also the choice of the others to get into a better mood. itz sooo true. i notice it with myself. i can choose to be happy and see the bright side of it or i can choose to be pessimisstic and not feel like doing anything and be all bla and Anti everything. i think the same works for everyone else. itz probly easier said than done but i also don't think itz that difficult either. for some ppl there might be specific reasons why they r in a bad mood or so blah and then obviously itz different and more difficult to get back up again ... but some ppl i think they really jst hve to choose to see the bright side of it all and jst be happy. it really isn't THAT hard. or maybe i'm jst naive and stupid and don't see the whole picture and truth of it all ... - english class coming out there - ... i don't know ... but the weather is already so blah and blä why do the ppl hve to be like it to? why? i'm trying to make things better and help but itz really difficult if i don't kno how and if ppl don't tell me how or if you can do so much and try everything and they jst don't accept ur help or advice but jst are plain stubborn. i'm seriously lost .... and about to give up but then i'd be jst like the ppl i'm complaining about ... see where it all leads to? itz jst soo frustrating and depressing and aggrevating and annoying and jst plain BLÄ!

so there was my rant ...

adios

murr murr murr di doo ....

yep yep yep. today the weather is grey again. but me don't mind. it was raining yesterday and i liked it. yep yep yep. i don't know why i'm sooo obsessed with rain lately. it is very strange.

i survived the first week of school! zip-a-dee-doo-dah! i'm not yet overloaded with work but that will probly start soon ... *sigh* ... but actually up til now school is ok. itz boring and normal and bla but itz not THAT bad ... YET! i'm trying to make the best out of it and it works fine for me then.

i joined choir which is loads of fun but i've noticed that i can't sing that well with ppl together ... i can but not really ... and before i used to be able to sing the notes jst like that without having to take music home and learning it and now i hve to take it home and all .... itz really weird .... i enjoy singing with ppl and having that lovely harmony but i also enjoy singin on my own and exploring my voice and using the textures that i want to. so it goes both ways. anyway ... that jst was RANDOM RAMBLING!!

zim zum dee bluk and zim zum dee day

SMILE,

Linus